What Self-Care Is (& Is NOT) & Why Do You Need It

Taking care of ourselves as busy women is hard. We have so many responsibilities and balls up in the air. Our table is literally quite full!

Our to-do lists are miles long, we have daily responsibilities, family commitments, and so much on our plates that the thought of slowing down and taking care of ourselves is usually the furthest thing from what we need to do.

But the truth is, it's probably the most important thing we actually need to do.


Taking care of ourselves is so important.


It is vital to our health, our emotional well-being, and our sanity.

Yet even though we know it's important and worthwhile, that knowledge doesn't make it any easier.

Take me for example:

I'm a busy mom myself with three young children who depend on me for just about all of their needs.

I have a husband and a marriage I am committed to and called to strengthen each and every day.

I have a home to maintain and care for, meals to plan, shop for, and make.

I have a growing online blog and business that is a blessing to our family, yet still, requires time and energy on my part.

I have a list of priorities that are important for my season of life, things that matter most to me and that I feel strongly about pouring my heart into.

I have a lot of things on my plate, so I get it that taking care of ourselves is hard, it's usually on the bottom of my list too!

B U T...

I have also discovered firsthand how important it actually is.


How about you?

What is your own personal story?

What are your responsibilities?

How many balls are you juggling up in the air?

Are you taking the time to fill your cup?


As I shared in my own personal story, I am coming out of a really hard season of burnout.

I literally had worked myself to the bone and was running a mile a minute.

I was doing too many things, taking on more than I should have, and had too many plates up in the air that I lost sight of my personal priorities, the things that mattered the most.

Losing sight of those things and running on fumes resulted in experiencing health issues.

My stress levels rose sky high, my anxiety came back with a vengeance, I had a handful of panic attacks that took a toll on my body. My patience level was at a zero, my daily joy had vanished, and I felt horrible.

I started to shut down, physically and emotionally, and it was so scary!

I don't ever want to go back to that place, and I don't want you to either!

I don't know about you but I don't want to limp through life only in survival mode.

What kind of life is that?

Certainly NOT the one we were created for.

Rather than living in a constant state of survival mode, barely making it through one task to another, I want to thrive in this life.


We only get one life, so we have to make it count.


We can't go back and fix yesterday so we just need to keep moving forward with our eyes focused on what matters today right in front of us.

Making self-care a priority might be a new idea for you, it was for me.

But after looking back and seeing the constant state of survival mode I was struggling through, I knew that the only way to not continue making the same mistakes over and over again was to shift my priorities.

Taking care of myself is now one of my top priorities, right up there with growing my faith and my family!

Instead of thinking of self-care as an option, I now view it as a non-negotiable.


Before we go any further though, we have to define exactly what self-care is... and what it is not.


What exactly is self-care?

It's a term that is thrown around a lot but often with incorrect assumptions.

While taking care of yourself is crucial to your health and well-being, we can't practice self-indulgent activities and claim them to be "self-care" if we truly want to fill our cups so we can pour out to others.

I love how Crystal Paine describes the difference between self-care and self-comforts:


What Self-Care IS: Making our health and well-being a priority. Listening to and attending to what our body and soul needs so that we are able to live our lives with energy and purpose.


What Self-Care Is NOT: Numbing ourselves from reality, using coping mechanisms, or turning to addictive behavior to try to survive life.


What Self-Care is NOT

When I was going through my season of extreme burnout that I described in a previous lesson, I was throwing bandaids on my wounds, so to speak.

I was using a lot of coping mechanisms to get through that hard season.

What I was NOT doing was caring for my well being in a truly transformative and healthy way.

Instead of getting to the root of the source, I kept burying myself in the lies of having to perform better because my family needed me.

I kept believing that they needed me more so caring for myself just wasn't an option right now.

I was ignoring the glaring red lights that were flashing.

It's easy to get get caught up in what self-care isn't by focusing on the comforts we personally love and that do provide a temporary relief.

But the results are only that... temporary.

So that is why we really need to understand that self-care is NOT:

  • ignoring your family while you binge watch TV (or do any sort of recreational activity, including reading, crafting, sewing, etc.) to relax
  • taking a day trip to the spa (although there is nothing wrong with a trip to the spa!) ;)
  • using coping mechanisms to avoid certain situations (food, shopping, denial, etc.)
  • or using any sort of substitute to fill ourselves outside of God


Self-care is NOT using temporary fixes that make yourself feel better in the moment but have no long term implications.



What Self-Care IS

Self-care is tending to your heart and soul spiritually, physically, and emotionally, allowing you to find rest, healing, peace, and claiming the abundant life Jesus promised in John 10:10.

When we make restoring our health, our soul, and our bodies a priority, we are in tune to what our bodies are trying to tell us causing us to live with greater purpose, intention, joy, and love.


When we pour into ourselves, we can in return pour out into the lives of those around us.


We can love our family well, embrace our roles as women, wives, mothers, daughters, and friends.

We can serve joyfully, and focus on what truly matters.

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. ~1 Corinthians 6:19-20

In Paul's ever so gentle rebuke ;) we are reminded that we were bought with a price and that our body is a temple.

This is a strong validation that self-care is essential and we are to take care of the body we have been given.



Today's Journaling Reflection Questions

Answer the questions in your FYC journal or printout the worksheets below to complete.


What are your top priorities?


Is self-care up there? Why or why not?


What does John 10:10 mean to you?


In your own words, describe the difference between self-care and self-comforts.


What self-comforts have you been using as a band aid in the disguise of self-care?


"When we pour into ourselves, we can in return pour out into the lives of those around us."

What do you think this looks like in your own life?


1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Have you ever thought about self-care being biblical therefore being an essential part of our lives?


What does self-care mean to you right now?

FYC Module 1 Lesson 2.pdf

Now that we have established a strong foundation for what self-care is and why we need it, let's overcome some lies.


In the next lesson we are going to settle the score once and for all... self-care is NOT selfish and other truths we need to remember.


Click on the Complete and Continue tab in the upper right corner and I will see you there.

Complete and Continue  
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